For fun, over the past week, we’ve asked people in the Magic City to finish the following phrase:
You’re so Birmingham if…
Here are 32 responses we received. Enjoy!
You’re so Birmingham if…
1. You regard Milo’s sweet tea as a sacrament and Dale’s Seasoning is your universal solvent.
2. You used to look to Vulcan to see if anyone died in a car accident. Traumatized by Vulcan.
3. You loved “Shelly the Playboy.”
4. You group people by what high school they went to, what church they (profess) to go to or what team they cheer for.
5. You insist that every single person who visits from out of town has to eat at least once at Niki’s West Steak and Seafood Restaurant. And you caution them about how to order in the line!
6. You’ve paid cash for a drink at the Garage.
7. You have Rodrigue Blue Dog Crawfish Boil posters and/or City Stages art at home.
8. You regard it as a tactless act of betrayal and bad taste when someone offers you a national brand beer, rather than one brewed by one of our fine local craft breweries.
9. You daily get caught in the I-459 congestion during your work commute as a result of the I-59/20 bridge closure.
10. Your pronunciation of the name of the iconic restaurant and Club that affords that amazing view of Birmingham rolls off your tongue as THE Club – shouty caps indicating emphasis on the word THE with a special emphasis on the long E .
11. If you know that Eastwood is not in Irondale.
12. You ignore crosswalks, disregard stop signs, consider merging to be a personal attack and frankly the biggest inconvenience of your life, and have literally no idea that your car has a turning indicator/blinker.
13. You know the origin story of the dance floor in Saturday Night Fever.
14. You are constantly explaining to people that the Crimson Tide plays at the OTHER University of Alabama campus.
15. If you have memorabilia or apparel with the logo of at least 4 failed “pro” football franchises in your closet. Bonus points if you also have pro hockey stuff.
16. You plan your commute on how to avoid 280 traffic.
17. John Carroll towered over Highland Avenue.
18. After years of enduring patronizing questions from people you meet from the largest city in Georgia who, when you tell them you’re from Birmingham, they always ask “Alabama?” As if you were from England, you then, whenever you meet someone who says they’re from Atlanta, you always follow up by asking “Georgia?” (Before you ask about the one in Michigan, c’mon, that little bedroom suburb has a lower population than Trussville.)
19. The last song by the last band at the Nick makes you hungry for a cheeseburger at Marty’s.
20. If you equate Niki’s West with fine dining. And all bar-b-que joints as paradise.
21. You could pet the elephant’s trunk at the Birmingham Zoo between the opening of the huge iron doors that were chained shut to keep them from escaping…and fed them peanuts, after riding the mini train that went around the zoo.
22. You got so excited as a kid to make the annual pilgrimage to see the Christmas display windows at Loveman’s downtown or the Enchanted Forest in Pizitz.
23. You know who has the right of way at the intersection of Highland Avenue and 29th St. South.
24. You are still using Baby Doe’s as a navigational landmark.
25. You’ve gone running off your porch from the mosquito truck.
26. You plan out your dog’s first visit to Pepper Place.
27. You know why the Elephant is in the entrance of Avondale Park and think it’s Fancy.
28. You believe in the Bs of Bham: Barbeque, Breweries and Baptists
29. If you live in the suburbs and are absolutely terrified to come downtown for no good reason.
30. You go to Do Da Day just to see the tortoise.
31. You loved Cousin Cliff and Country Boy Eddie. You crossed the bridge and waved at the Penny Pup or swam at the Cascade Plunge. You awoke to the fine smell of bread wafting out of the Home Bakery. You climbed the Vulcan and stood OUTSIDE as a child. Or you go to work each day in an old candy warehouse on Morris. Gosh, you just gave me a flood of great memories
32. Constantly extolling the virtues of such a great city to those who have no clue what they are missing!
Thank you to everyone who submitted a response.
Send us your response to You are so Birmingham…. at firstname.lastname@example.org or write a comment on this story. We look forward to hearing from you!