The citizens of Birmingham, from Mayor Randall Woodfin to one hungry UAB student, are hurting. The source of our pain? You, Cook Out. You’ve jilted us. Worse, you flaunt your rejection by continuing to expand in other cities across Alabama. Enough of this. I won’t have the Magic City moping around like a teenager without a prom date.
I love 40-plus milkshake flavors as much as the next person (quite possibly more). But newsflash, prom’s more fun when you go stag.
Cook Out, do you realize how many eligible restaurants we have on our dance card in this city? Zagat named Birmingham one of the 30 Most Exciting Food Cities in America in 2017, for Pete’s sake. Yet we pine for you and your burger trays and North Carolinian mystique.
It’s Your Loss, Cook Out
We won’t find you in the ultimate guide to the 10 best milkshakes in Birmingham anytime soon. And when my husband and I debate the various merits of burgers from Chez FonFon, Back Forty, Five Guys and others (that actually happens), you won’t be part of the conversation.
Why? Because. You’re. Not. Here.
We understood a little when you chose Tuscaloosa first in 2016. But then you chose Opelika, Troy, Jacksonville, Huntsville, Auburn and, most recently, Montgomery. Ouch. How could Birmingham be so far down on your list, Cook Out?
Birmingham Restaurant Week is coming up, Cook Out. So we’ll be out there. Eating. Rekindling our love for old favorites. Discovering new tastes. Maybe we’ll forget you altogether. But wait…
I Take It Back
Please come to Birmingham, Cook Out. We love you.